Co-parenting is tough. Between difficult exes, threatened spouses, manipulative children, communication challenges, and the messy aftermath of previous marriages, parents and step-parents alike have their work cut out for them.
Understand the obstacles to co-parenting, their effects, learn how to overcome them by collaborative planning, and keep your new marriage from ending the same way as your last one.
Mother's Day day isn't always smooth. It's even rockier for stepfamilies. Biological moms rock the boat when feeling envy over stepmothers' share of the children's affection, or feeling threatened by the presence of another woman in their children's lives. Meanwhile, stepmoms feel jilted out of their just desserts when something called “Mother's Day” is primarily about someone other than them, despite their maternal role in their new family.
The bitter pill is that Mother's Day is primarily about mothers. If both the bio and step moms in your family can share the day, then bravo: there's no need to read the rest of this. For the rest of us, here's a guide to being sensitive and understanding during a surprisingly tense holiday for stepfamilies.
Violated expectations breed strife. Everyone has ideas about how things should be, and dreams about how they will. And then, well, things aren't. The new wife, the old father, and the young children all have their own expectations; the thread that threatens to unravel your marriage is how everyone winds up wrong.
Let's end the year with a true and touching message of hope, love and inspiration. I have a dear friend who was willing to share with all of us a letter his stepdaughter wrote him for Christmas. It was accompanied by a picture of the two of them, taken shortly after they met.
He has been a stepfather for 25 years to this 29 year old woman and her sister. When I think of successful and happy remarriages, I think of this wonderful couple which I have the privilege to have as friends.
I hope you enjoy reading it. I would love to hear your impression of it.
