Many men find themselves spending much more time with their stepchildren than with their biological children, simply because of their custody agreements. Fathers see their biological children’s stay with them as visits, rather than “living with them,” so they treat them like VIP guests and set fewer limits and looser behavioral expectations.
These double standards drive a wedge between the couple, confuse the children, and foster resentment all around. Here’s how to handle them.
Another year went by. You may feel the anguish of yet more missed opportunities to last year’s resolutions for a more peaceful and fun stepfamily experience. If you do, you are not alone. Many step-families share your pain. You can make a difference in this coming year. Implement these 6 easy tips and you’ll experience a difference in how you connect with your step-family.
“I am at my wits end. I didn’t know that being a stepmother is going to be so frustrating!” said a 39 year-old, successful, professional woman. “At work, everyone respects me and likes me, but at home I feel like an obstacle to my stepchildren in their relationship with their father.” If you can relate to this stepmother’s frustration, you may have asked yourself many times over why your stepchildren can’t just see you for who you really are: a nice, loving woman who wants peace and love in her home. You may also wonder what you need to do in order to get noticed and cherished by your husband. Perhaps you wonder if you can ever succeed in this unclear role.
The following tips will hopefully help you turn a corner with your stepchildren and your husband, so you walk the path to desired harmony in your home.
Children of divorced parents who go back and forth between two households experience a sense of loss and anxiety each time they transition between the homes. The biological and stepparents may experience similar feelings. As the summer winds down and you and your family are getting ready for the new school year these feelings may […]
How can it be that in the 21st century some people still view stepmothers as wicked, stepchildren as their victims, and biological fathers as innocent bystanders? Fairy tales contributed unfortunately to how stepmothers are perceived by our society and created an unrealistic expectation of women who marry men with children. On one hand women are […]
The Holidays present an unparalleled opportunity for biological and step families alike to strengthen, deepen, and solidify connections between family members. It is the time of year that you may choose to create the space in which you may have the opportunity to work on mending and improving relationships with different family members. While some […]
Stepmom wrote to Parenting Magazine,
The man I am marrying has two young children from a previous marriage. I will become “stepmom” soon. What suggestions do you have for a smooth transition? I want to nurture a healthy relationship with my soon-to-be husband’s children, but I also want to respect their relationship with their mother, too.
Many people are embarrassed to admit that they are clueless about how to make their step-families connect and work well. The following tips will help make that easier…
It is rare to be proud of being in a stepfamily. Many stepfamilies struggle with inequality between the adults regarding parental rights and responsibilities, and regarding finances and decision-making. Children are also frustrated by inequality in the discipline and love they receive. “I am so embarrassed that I just don’t seem to be the stepmother […]
Slowly transition from the unstructured recreation of summer back into the disciplined routine that the coming school year will demand of you and your children. Stepfamilies may find this adjustment especially challenging because of differing rules and expectations between the households.
The following tips will help you and your children prepare for the new school year.
When people with children divorce, they have the illusion that their exes are out of their lives, never to influence them again. They soon find themselves mistaken. Some are mystified by how much influence their ex spouses have over their lives. After all, they got a divorce to remove the other person from their lives. […]
