Tips for Forgiveness

The idea of forgiving someone who deeply hurt or wrong you, like a former spouse, is often met with much resistance. The concept of forgiving yourself may be puzzling to you. Forgiveness is definitely an emotionally loaded term for a couple of reasons. First, you may say that if you forgive, you condone the behavior. Second, you may feel vulnerable to being further hurt by that person. You may also think that forgiveness is a sign of weakness, and you would much rather stay guarded so you are not taken advantage of. Please contemplate the following tips and I hope you choose to give yourself the gift of forgiveness.

  • Forgiveness is emotional cleansing. It is about acknowledging the hurt, and recognizing your personal power to end it by making a choice to let go.
  • Re-evaluating the behaviors that caused you pain, whether self-induced or caused by another, will help you better understand the events and circumstances leading to it.
  • Understand why you are hanging on to past hurts that continuously hurt you and impact many of your life’s decisions.
  • Write a forgiveness letter to whoever you are harboring anger and resentment towards. It is a letter to aid you in your emotional liberation process. You do not need to mail it, unless you want to. Set up alone time so you will not have any human or electronic interruptions. Include only positive statements. If that is not possible, you may need to address your anger first.
  • Therapy will help you process the anger so you can reach a place in your heart from which you can forgive.

Forgiveness will set you free so you can make emotionally healthy decisions. It will enable you to be emotionally available for a relationship with yourself and others.

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